Someone who has influenced my life a lot recently is a man whom I have only known for two months. He has helped me with many of the problems that I face in my everyday life and he tries to help me overcome the worries that nag me, day in and day out. I am talking about Gerard, the man who I talk to.
Before I first started talking to Gerard, I was not in the best frame of mind. I was slightly depressed having no self-confidence. For about ten months, I had shut myself off from the rest of the world. I lost my friends. I didn’t go outside. Instead, I lived in a sort of bubble up in my room, where the outside world wasn’t really there because I was on my own, I locked myself in and threw away the key.
My parents were confused by my behaviour, they simply couldn’t comprehend why I never went out. It was a contradiction, they always said that I had great social skills and yet I never really used them. Bad memories ate away at me, taunting me, making me doubt myself. During this time I was in a bad place, my only goal was to shut myself from the world around me. This negativity consumed me and I stored it all up, until I was just like a drinks bottle that had been shaken too many times.
My parents were always trying to change this behaviour and after a lot of arguing, I got in touch with Gerard. I was nervous and extremely anxious before our first meeting, shaking all the time. When we started to talk, the bottle burst open and he helped me understand what I was doing was severely wrong. He listened, as he was the only person that I could really talk to, as he didn’t know me at all. He helped me unlock the issues that I had inside me. He re-assured me and told me that he was going to help me and that I would eventually be rid of everything that was bringing me down.
Over the next few weeks, we would meet to discuss how I was doing and any problems that I was having. We talked about the fact that me shutting myself off from everyone was unhealthy and the need for me to start socialising again. I told him about the problems I had with food and how I would snack every night, simply shoving things down my throat. We discussed the negative thoughts and the self doubt and he helped me realise that I was slightly obsessive and that I just need to let go of things. Most recently I talked about how I have to be strong, that any voices in my head or pictures are being made by me and therefore can be destroyed by me.
If you were to look at Gerard in the street, he wouldn’t instantly stand out of the crowd. Like myself, he isn’t the tallest but he is a wonderful people person. After going and having a talk with him, I always feel better. He is a tremendous listener and is very good helping me realise how to deal with life and pick myself up when I am down. If I hadn’t gone to talk to him I wouldn’t have changed my way of life at all. He was intervention that I so desperately needed and I credit him for beginning the process of getting of this rut.
Of course, I am not finished yet. I still have a long way to go. Every day, I still worry about something I said or did maybe years ago. I feel the need to snack on more food. There are periods where I don’t want to change. But then I snap out of it and thanks to Gerard, I can do that. I am eternally grateful to him for this.